Looking Up.......

Well I think things might actually be looking up for me. I have been thinking a lot lately and making the decision to try my hardest to feel positive in general. Soooooooo if I tell myself things are looking up for me, then maybe they will LOL. Well anyway if I feel and think positive, surely something will go right for a change right? I am getting sooooooo excited for the holidays. Even if I don't have all the money in the world to do what I would like to do, I love the feeling of the holidays. It just makes me happier than normal. Maybe it is being around family, or maybe just the excitement. I don't know, but i'm thinking it just might be the cooler weather that makes me happy. I tend to be more angry when it's hot. LOL. Of course when it gets colder, it means snow is coming up north and me no like driving in snow. And yes, I have to go in the snow because my family lives in it. I love them too much to just say too bad so sad. LOL. Well so back to things looking up for me. I hope everyone out there is praying as hard as I am. Love ya tons............

Holy Crap! It's Been Too Long

Well i think i have hit that point where my brain has officially stopped working. Ha. I am up doing homework as usual. This past week has been so stressful i think i am going to explode! There have been so many things going on. I have started my schooling and trying to get things organized around the house. I know it's by chance, but my husband has been getting more work lately right when i start school so it has been crazy :( I would just like to know when it's going to get cooler, i mean is it ever? It feels awesome at night but man, it doesn't feel better during the day yet. Ok i am done bitching over less important things. Ha. I am getting closer to having my house to myself and that is something to be excited about. YaY!! One more week! :) I have been waiting for this moment a long time, and I am definitely anticipating it. I have come to realize that my problems that i think are big, are not so big. For instance i have a good friend Brad that has been sick and still has to function in a crazy world. I don't know if he wants me talking about him so sorry Bradley. hehe. love ya. Well i will stop mentioning names but let's just say i have come to appreciate the problems i think i have. hehe. Oh ya! I opened the door and that cool air is the best! I know i am weird, no just tired. Well it's off to bed for me. nighty nite :)

Enough is Enough

Well i have thought about alot today. I start to wonder when enough is enough. What do i mean by that? Well, i guess there is no particular thing, it just seems like things have started to pile. Things seem to keep happening to me and people i love and i wonder when it all stops. I wonder if there are those people out there like me who are generally nice people. Ok really nice, too nice. I try to do my best to support, love, and listen to those around me. Sometimes i feel like i dont get it back and i start to wonder if its just me. Am i too sensitive, or am i justified in feeling this. I know im rambling again, but to my credit i did warn my readers that i do this lol. Right now i am surrounded by chaos and i feel like no matter what i do its wrong. I am, by choice, someone who bites my toungue to keep peace. When do i know if its the right thing to do because you love them, and going absolutely bannanas. A bannana sounds good lol:) Anyways, its a good thing i have a good support system. (you know who you are) :) I think i need a vacation, and no i dont think im alone in this. lol . Its gonna be nice when i can just write about positive things all the time ha. Enough is enough of this boo hooing. lol. Ok i better go to bed before i totally go off the deep end or take my readers there ha. Better luck next time.......

Getting Behind

It has been awhile since i have written and i am getting scolded for it lol. i have been very busy or crazy. I think they are the same thing sometimes. ha. I have talked to a couple of people who have had bad days lately. I think i have had one of those years lol. Well on to better things huh. Im sorry if i ramble, it is quite a habit with me. I start school in a few days and i think im gonna go crazy trying to learn things all over again. I know there are people out there like me who have been out of school for years. I seemed to have forgotten a lot of things that i learned in high school. I have been trying to learn algebra and its not going so well. I talk to my friend Brad about this and he is no help lol (jk). I start to wonder if i didnt apply myself or if i really dont do well at learning. I keep telling myself that saying of " the things in life which are the hardest, seem to be the most worth it." I dont know if this will be the case with school but it seemed to be true in the past. I think im at that point where i want to accomplish something i know will be difficult, yet fulfilling. I think i picked the right thing cuz its definitely hard,lol. I think this will be good for my kids as well. They will know the importance of going for what you want. Well i think i am rambling again. ha. I am going to end this before i start forgetting people will actually read this. Until next time.....

Look At Me Go!

Well here i am again. I have been thinking lately about what makes me happy. My husband came to me just yesterday easing me into something he would really love to do. Now, he knows i will probably have a hard time letting this happen but i still told him i would think about it. As i sat there alone late at night thinking about how to tell him no, i couldnt think of a good reason. I have decided to go back to school see and he knows i have been waiting a long time for this. Even though he knows how hard it will be juggling school with 5 children, he wants to make it work cuz it makes me happy so how could i tell him no. I guess i figured its about time we do what we always wanted to do. We started a family very young in my opinion. Even though i would never trade my children i just think its time my husband and i think about what we want too. I know there will always be things that are going to get in the way of happiness but i have learned its something i have to work for every day. I am very determined to have that life that i always imagined having. I think my husband and i got into a place where we both kind of got lost and its time we find ourselves and each other again. well i have rambled long enough. until next time.........

In The Beginning

Well this is the beginning for me. We shall see how this goes. I told my sis Connie that I would give this a try. I am not very good or creative with my writing but love to write, if that makes any sense.(ha) Well hopefully like a few people I know, I will be able to inspire in some way. I think this might be a good thing for me especially with the week I have had. Hopefully this will at least take some stress away.(lol) Well until next time this is all I have.